For twenty years, or thereabouts, I have been working on freeing myself of the emotional baggage collected over the years (particularly from a childhood) that kept me motivated to remain "medicated" by alcohol and other sundry drug addictions. And though I no longer habitually partake of such substances I still consider myself to be on a path of recovery. This journey of healing has been paramount in unlocking my creative energies. So as I relinquish burdens that I am no longer willing to carry, my life more appropriately becomes about seeking happiness. Thus, and currently my life journey is guided by healing, loving myself, family and friends (chosen family), fulfilling my desire for new knowledge, seeing the beauty that abounds, and creating my truth through writing or whatever expression that moves through me.
Alas, my mind has been conditioned to take beauty for granted, or not see it at all. So it is important to me to become aware of, and set aside my conditioning in order to hear and see more clearly. Unfortunately I often miss what is right in front of me. Familiar emotions and sensations so often pass unnoticed or are labeled and judged in a way that moves me past them with little or no real awareness. My mind quickly labels what it perceives as good or bad and I respond with unconscious and automatic judgments – one of the more tenacious aspects of conditioning from which I am trying to recover.
At long last, there is a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, and it is not my death. It is an existence illuminated by living a full life - conscious, aware, healed.
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