On Feminism

I was asked to read  Melissa McEwan's blog on feminism 101 and supply my opinion on the article, ostensibly so my feminism sensitivity could be evaluated.  Despite being an avid feminist, I accepted the request for possible further edification on the matter if any were forthcoming.

I agree with most of the concepts presented by Ms. McEwan, and have always adhered to the recommendations she makes, so reading her blog for self-evaluation purposes was on the whole, somewhat pointless; still, an interesting read, and contains topics that compel me to comment.

On "off-limits humor"; I have long upheld the belief that there is always an underlying sting couched in allegedly innocent jokes about, well about so many subjects – I grew up in a household that used sarcasm and “comic” witticisms ostensibly in fun but in truth were simply demeaning and cruel. Everyone laughs, even the person being made sport of, but inside it hurts. So I don't make such "jokes". I don't do snide bullshit jokes about anything that might be hurtful to someone.  So it was refreshing to read a like-minded perspective in Ms. McEwan's blog.

I have never been one of those who try to ally a feminist against certain types of women “Surely, we're all in agreement that Britney Spears... whatever. Such nonsense would require that I first care or otherwise have feelings about a woman's choice of gender presentation, feminine or otherwise.

The “outside looking in” perspective consigned to male appreciation of feminism as prescribed by Ms. McEwan is, and should be objective (as should all evaluations of one's perspective), but being on the outside as a limitation on the observable perspective does not really apply to me as I do not gender identify as either male or female - a perspective wholly unattended by Ms. McEwan. The “pronouncements of similitude ” paragraph describes a ludicrous argument used by the weak-minded anti-feminist. Again, the author's exposition of this amazingly lame tactic is simply elegant. In my opinion the “stereotype” paragraph is an extension on the “Britney Spears” paragraph, and it completes the sentiment. By any other label she identifies the essential sub-categorical generalizing and the not-so subtle intent of sustaining subjugation.

Altogether a really good article. I found myself moved deeply more than once while reading it – for the generations of sorrow that the message implies, and for all women everywhere because I know what Ms. McEwan describes is pervasive, and it breaks my fucking heart.


The Patriarchy hurts All of Us

by Nancy R. Smith

For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong,
There is a boy tired of appearing strong when he feels vulnerable.

For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything,
There is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence.

For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive,
There is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep.

For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity,
There is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes.

For every girl who throws out her E-Z-Bake oven,
There is a boy who wishes to find one.

For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires,
There is a girl facing the ad industry's attacks on her self-esteem.

For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation,
There is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.


------------------

Fitness & Self-Image

The pandemic proportions of the visual phenomena and the fact that it even affects society’s most intelligent members is fascinating to me.  And I wish that I could claim to be above it, but I cannot.   Of course the visual is our first-line mechanism for determining objective reality, and that’s fine, but the importance placed on individual personal appearance by the populace of most modern societies seems to exceed basic instinct – perhaps exacerbated by the fact that the phenomena is artificially driven by various industries through the sundry vehicles of mass media.

It would be one thing if it were a health inspired issue, but appearance seems to be the driving force behind the trend toward a leaner collective.  However, though the popularity of the appearance of physical fitness is almost ubiquitous, actually managing the body image through fitness is still limited to a small minority.  So we are a society of corpulent constituents at one end of the physical spectrum (35.7% of the U.S. population is obese according to the CDC), about 13% physically fit at the other, and a majority of fitness want-to-be's in-between.  I like to think of myself as falling in the 13% camp of the fitness freaks, but my midsection measurement vetoes that illusion daily.

Sometimes the energy required to engage in my daily duties wears me down.  The simplicity of the mountain beckons me and I must obey – otherwise the emotive residuals gathered over the week will fester into something dark and ugly.  So as with Alice and her looking glass, I step through to the other side to share stories with the Walrus about many important things, but not cabbages or kings, and least of all what my workout routine for the day is going to include.  And the darkness of procrastination will wash over me as it so often does – and I will languish to return renewed on another day.  But I digress and ramble apparently.

It is very late.  And I am obviously near delirium.  But the condition of sleep mercilessly evades me (again).  It is my own fault – as mentioned I have been remiss in my exercise regimen, steeped in procrastination – so much that I can hardly call it a regimen.  So my mind, fueled by excess blood sugar, continues to process late at night despite my having clicked ‘shutdown’.  Hopefully the weekend adventures will rekindle the workout energy and hopefully the following week’s daily toil will not drain me of the energy needed to climb onto the stairway to nowhere (Stairmaster®) to fully engage in my imaginary fitness fanaticism.  

To Be Perfectly Honest...

The preface "to be honest... " on any comment logically indicates that other comments by the same person are probably less than ingenuous, or to some degree, are lacking in veracity. Considering truthfulness to be one of the cardinal virtues one should always follow, at least that is what we are taught (or used to be taught), I find myself wondering how often one actually tells or hears unequivocal truth. Ironically the grade-school story used to illustrate the virtue of telling the truth (George Washington and the cherry tree), never happened. But I digress.

On asking around I found many people reportedly always tell the truth (wink and a smile on that). A good many others stated that lying to protect their own, or a loved one's reputation was acceptable. Most people said that honesty stops when the need arises to protect someone from harm, or even just to protect someone from hurt feelings.  Almost everyone defended minor embellishments -- "little white lies" (a rather antiquated racist expression if you ask me). But some folks unabashedly espoused honesty as the only policy, lambasting the unnecessary evil of lying, and abjectly denying any past or present perpetrated fallacies.  To wit I responded, "but you are lying right now." This effectively ended most of those conversations.

My little survey results make me question the moral designation that we assign to the concept of honesty.  Apparently it is something without any hard and fast rules since we can decide in accordance to our own purposes which lies we shall deem necessary in the name of protecting the feelings or reputation of someone else, and which lies should otherwise be considered immoral. In reality, it comes down to outright self preservation. And in any given critical circumstance, we all will, and do fabricate an untruth or otherwise cover up something that is true. We say that we lie for the protection of loved ones (or whomever), but I submit that the lie is told more for the purpose of protecting the relationship that we hold dear which is an act of self-preservation – because if the truth in some way harms a loved one, then the act of telling the truth may very well insight consequences that may remove us in some degree, or entirely, from the valued relationship that we otherwise would have protected with a lie.

Oh no!  Did I just denounce all of those glorious, self-less acts of deceit by pointing out that the act itself is indeed intrinsically selfish?  Yes I did. But don't misunderstand -- I completely support selfish intentions so long as they do not harm others. After all, selfishness is what puts food in your belly and a roof over your head. And that leads me to conclude that telling a lie to protect someone, thereby maintaining harmony in your relationship or environment, indeed is not a bad thing - at least not from the perspective of the person you are protecting, and yourself of course. It is damned near instinctual. Or at least genetically encoded as people have survived the millennia on just such instincts. I am reminded of a scene in the movie "Schindler's List" when a Nazi officer, after shooting someone for not revealing the identity of a thief, asked a boy for the same information, and the boy claimed that the thief was the man who the officer just shot.  A lie that saves your life,  or the lives of others in such a circumstance, can be considered nothing less than morally virtuous.

But then honesty must have its place somewhere in the stack of moral virtues does it not? Of course it does – and for exactly the same reason that dishonesty has its place – self preservation. If you are dishonest or deceitful with your partner you are compromising the relationship that you hold dear, which will in all likeliness lead ultimately the demise of the relationship – and rightfully so. If you misrepresent yourself in applying for a job, your ability deficiency may result in your termination, and damaged reputation..... and so on, and so on.

Therein lies the truth. The moral value of honesty is a matter of expediency. We lie or should certainly speak truthfully depending on which will better serve our needs.  So in the name of what I have irreducibly exposed as common sense -- stop lying about lying and just tell the truth. To be perfectly honest, we lie.

~

Thanks-taking

I don't intend to make this exact same accolade every year, but maybe I do. I am not willing to look back at last year's journal entry or old blogs to see.  But anyway, happy Thankstaking to all. Indeed enjoy yet another celebration of the European invasion (and subsequently established U.S. government) conquest of the indigenous people of North America. It's a wonderful country, and I'm sure you enjoy being here as much as I do. And I enjoy celebrating that our European ancestors made it possible for me to be here.

The euphemistic name of the holiday that most folks call it (Thanksgiving) is rediculous because the aboriginal people of what we call "America" did not joyfully chose to give their land and lives to the invading European/U.S. hordes. So I call the celebration "Thanks-taking". The 'Thanks' part then becomes an appropriately sarcastic scorn, instead of a euphemistic slap in the collective aboriginal face, and I can enjoy my turkey without the sour aftertaste of hypocrisy.

But, I am thankful, with respect to this celebration, that our ancestors did not kill them all, and that a lineage of several aboriginal nations and their culture continue to survive.

Live long and prosper my brethren of ancestral adversary.

National Coming Out Day

Tomorrow is National Coming Out Day. I am, and always have been 'out' and loudly support equal rights for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. I do not "come out" with any further information than that because who I love and/or sleep with is nobody's business (except for whomever the lucky recipient of my affections may be). I have no other reason for not divulging my sexual preferences other than valuing my privacy. Be that as it may, please join me in donating your status, by coming out of whatever your particular closet may be in support of LGBTQ equality.  The movement really is about actual equality for all.

Loose Cannon

She has been called a "loose cannon".  And I knew this was an accurate assessment of her personality, but my attraction had no fear because I knew that at the very least I was sure to experience a great learning.  And I have. I sense that her withdrawal from me is more about her own desire for hermitage rather than resentment around my defending someone against her onslaught. Unfortunately I don't think that there is any abundance of time in our favor.

I also knew this was coming.  And despite becoming cannon fodder I have no regrets.  Like I said, it has been a great learning experience.  Just because part of the learning involved sorrow does not make it any the less valuable.  And I have an added dimension of love in my heart for which I am so grateful.  Normally I have a serious rejection complex that keeps me perpetually locked in pause mode when it comes to meeting people.  

She said she always falls for people with a lot of rage, who eventually abandon her. She wants to disappear. She wants to live out her life in hermitage, writing her poetry, and wishing she were young again – her words.

Sweetest Summers

Summer in the Pacific Northwest is short, but oh so very sweet.  The hottest days can be quiet warm - uncomfortable even. But I am surrounded by trees and get very little direct sunlight, so inside the cabin is tolerable with window fans.  And at night it drops down enough to enable comfortable sleeping.

It's cooler today than it has been in the last couple of days. Temperatures are higher in the city than out here on my side of the mountain.  Though the other day it managed to reach 101 degrees Fahrenheit according to my front porch thermometer (hottest I have ever seen here).  The river has dwindled to a mere trickle compared to its normal roaring glory.

These conditions are only present for a few weeks of the summer months. And the days in excess of 90 degrees seldom number more than a dozen.

Akin to paradise.